Reflection: I look back the year's trials and tribulations



This week's post is a reflection. This year has brought with it significant changes both personal and with regard to the trajectory of my career. When the year began, I had fully recovered from a life changing surgery and felt that I had a new lease on life; a chance to start over. The future seemed exciting with a great many prospects to look forward to. 


During the years leading up to 2020, I had successfully masked serious mental illness. I had achieved this morbid feat through a toxic reliance on myself and had cultivated a belief system which at its core mandated that I solve my own problems and that no one had the acumen to help me.


Back to the beginning of the year: things were also looking up in the realm of academia. I had successfully completed the first two years of my four-year degree programme and was primed and ready to tackle year three. However, there was a problem. The meagre passion I had for my degree programme would finally succumb as my lack of interest in the programme began to negatively affect my mental stability. With the reality of a passionless and painfull tenure in academia on the cards, the pandemic made its way to the shores of South Africa and life took an unexpected turn; my situation was dangerously exacerbated.


What followed was a series of fortunate and unfortunate events and a few great lessons being learnt. I ended dropping out of university and forgoing a career trajectory I had cultivated over four years. I signed up for therapy for the first time. I discovered web development and taught myself to code. In the end, I had successfully changed the trajectory of my career and achieved psychological stability.



Here are some of the lessons I have learnt:


* Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is ask. Ask for help. Ask for advice. Ask for guidence. Ask...


* Sometimes you will not find yourself at the places you wanted to go to


* Mental health is important. It is important enough to prioritize. It may seem trivial but you'll be surprised at the impact it can have on all aspects of your life and often, the surprise is not a pleasant one


* Learn to forgive yourself if you fail. It may not be clear-cut or obvious at the time but you always have a chance to start over. It may be in a different setting or a different career or a different degree programme or even a different country; you can start over.


* Talk. It may be with a stranger, an acquintance, a parent, a partner... The best way to learn and grow is to express oneself to others and let others express themselves to you


* Be honest to yourself. Honesty to onself can save one from anguish and wasted time. I believe that the worst person to lie to is oneself.


* Reflect. Look back at how far you've come and where you still have to go or more importantly, where you want to go



Now, the above is by no means an exhaustive list as there are many more lessons to learn and not everyone's situation will benefit from the above. However, if any one of these can spark a thought process or a conversation, this post will have achieved its objective...


Thanks. I hope to share and grow some more with you next year.


Over and Out!


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